Have you ever tried to eat enough Stove Top Stuffing to wallpaper
a room with the boxes? How about reimagining the Last Supper as a BBQ sauce
tasting party where herds of chicken and pork were sacrificed to find out which
sauce was the best? Staging the largest Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter, memorial
party in the Midwest - if not the World? I did all these things with my old
roommate Jared aka F. Stallone (the more talented Stallone).
The Last Supper complete with Jared as Peter
It was a friendship more Frank than Sly and formed of Mario
Kart in the garage, meeting wizards while biking on trails after dark (“The
bear is quiet, but the mouse is loud”), Electric Six (Improper Dancing happened
in the middle of the street, at the Pio on a quiet Wednesday and elsewhere) and
cases of Sparks (the formerly fantastic caffeinated alcoholic beverage).
We met when we “moved in” together in Eau Claire. I had
dropped out of UW-Madison, the Navy, and UWEC and was living in EC when my
friends Kris and Joe were looking for a place to live so I tossed my name into
the mix. We found a three-bedroom house on West Grand and promptly allowed
three other friends to move in – one of whom was Jared. It was a motley crew,
with varying interests, but creativity abounded.
There have been few people in my life that I’ve felt have
really gotten my humor and Jared is one of them. Obscure references, dry puns,
and, surprisingly, sophisticated humor echoed through the house. I’m not sure
we contributed anything to society that year, but it may have been my favorite
year. You never knew what to expect from day to day, from the basement being
closed for asbestos removal, a grappling hook arriving in the mail or a car
stolen from out front while someone was sleeping on the couch (the door was
never locked from the moment we moved in to when we moved out). The absurdity
of our lives made life worth living.
We mourned the passing of the Croc Hunter for weeks
After the lease ran out, Jared moved out west; I’m not sure
what he was up to (I don’t think he did either). I contracted Lyme disease and
hung out at a hospital for a few weeks – perhaps my best accommodations the
last few years – and then waffled around the Wisconsin Trail world, camping and
essentially living out of my car. Around 2010 Jared decided to set out for an
adventure that harkened back to classics from Gilbert and Sullivan, Jack
Kerouac and Pee-Wee Herman. He set out to run across America in a devil
costume. He called it Exercise the Demons.
The last time I hung out with Jared before his run was in
Madison. He spent the day with old roommate Joe, running down State Street and
around the Capitol wearing the devil suit (While running, he came across a guy
rollerblading in a Wolverine costume). The night ended with the three of us
crab walking across Wisconsin Avenue and a guy yelling out of his car, “and I
thought I was drunk!” It was a fitting prelude to his epic run.
I introduced Simba to the World as Jared looked on
Jared was more of a Scar guy
I was gearing up to go on my own adventure – an 1100-mile
hike of the Ice Age National Scenic Trail – so Jared and I had a few
conversations on food and supplies. I had no idea what I was doing and neither
did he. Those who have heard my story, know I winged it, had some fun and
somehow made it through to the end, but Jared’s story is far more compelling and
exciting – not to mention dangerous. He endured storms and a breakdown of gear
in the Appalachian Mountains, got married, was kidnapped by a tweeker, hassled
by the cops, and met countless people willing to help a vagabond on his crazy
journey. Jared wrote an e-book about his adventure titled “The Now Testament”
that is now on sale. If you want a story that makes your life seem pale and
lifeless like Elizabeth Berkely’s acting career, I suggest reading this book. You can find out more and purchase the book at his website.
We all have people that we look up to, wish that we could do
the things they do, were as smart and witty as them – Jared is one of those
friends. I don’t see Jared as often as I should, but I take comfort knowing he
is out there, living his own life and making the world better (scratch that
last part, maybe). I’ll wonder what he’s up to and know deep down that he’s
doing well, doing very well (and take comfort he knows a forgotten line from
Glengarry Glen Ross). Everyone needs a Jared in their lives to remind them
nothing is impossible and when terror comes to Beverly Hills, Frank Stallone is
the man to call.
With the start of road construction season and the rainy,
dreary days of spring (40 and raining has to be the worst weather), I like to
take time to think about things that make smile. Sitting at the bar on an April afternoon, I
compiled an incomplete list of those people, scenarios and craziness that pry a
smile from my lips. Here it goes:
Driving with the windows down. I never understood people who seclude
themselves in the stale air of their vehicle when they could feel the breeze
blowing through their hair on the drive home (if the wind messes up your hair –
get a new hairdo).
A pretty bartender*.
For some reason they make the beer taste better and flow easier. I’ve followed a bartender to a different bar
when she got a new job, I’ve gone to a bar when I was feeling crappy knowing
one of my favorites was working and she’d coax a smile out of me, and I’ve
bought a pretty bartender a drink after her shift is done to name a few things. Bottom line, pretty bartenders make my life
more enjoyable.
*Not all pretty bartenders are worth a smile
Andura is one of my favorites - I go bartender's choice with the beer when she's working
Other people smiling.
Sometimes you don’t realize how powerful a smile can be. A smile from a stranger, or even better, a
friend, can turn a crummy day around. I
even once wrote a poem titled “The Smile On Your Face.” What’s the point of passing along your grumpy
mood?
Sharon has a great smile even while working
A warm shower. Nothing
beats a shower where I can gradually increase the temp so by the end, it’s
bordering on scalding. This is in my top
5 favorite things in the world.
Live bluegrass and Allie Kral. Music is best experienced live when you can witness how hard they are playing and the crowd helps fuel the bluegrass inferno. One of my favorite bands to see live is Cornmeal and their supremely awesome (and sexy) fiddler, Allie (especially in Madison where the crowd just knows how to throw down). Another go to concert is Pert Near Sandstone - especially when Allie joins the stage along with special guest Ryan Young of Trampled by Turtles. That’s three fiddlers, nay, great fiddlers on one stage (did I mention they have a clogger?). Starting from the 2-minute mark, my happiness crescendos at about the 2:52 mark when I completely lose it, only to stay lost for the rest of the song (I was lucky enough to witness this in person).
Showing someone a favorite place of mine. When they experience the beauty and serenity
that you’ve experienced, it is like revealing a secret – you’ve let them into
your personal sanctum.
Completing a crossword puzzle. Crossword puzzles are one thing that will
never be more enjoyable electronically.
Folding a paper in just the right way to highlight the puzzle and clues
and then filling in the puzzle is immensely gratifying. When using a pen, trying to lightly write in
an answer without ruining the square is a skill to be excited about.
Grilling in a snowstorm.
When everyone is huddled inside, curled up in a blanket watching some
crap on the TV, I like being outside and showing people that a little snow and
wind only enhances the grill flavor.
It’s a challenge and I accept.
Finishing a good book. Following the arc of a well-written story, whether it is nonfiction or a memoir (I’m a nonfiction snob). So much of our lives are exuded in short bits and bursts that we never take the time to learn or fully delve into a topic or person. TV, TMZ and Twitter have supplanted Thoreau and Tennyson.
Gibraltar Rock is a great place to sit in silence, gaze at the beauty of WI or finish a good book
Sitting in silence in the woods as nature happens around me. Silence is a lost art (I have trouble with
this from time to time – long pauses in my speech due to stuttering notwithstanding),
but a little quiet can reveal a world hidden to the chattering masses. Watching chickadees flit from branch to
branch – edging ever closer while I sit motionless is a treat in the dead of
winter (If you sit quiet and still enough, they may even land on your hat or
hand).
Campfires. The simple act of sitting around and staring at a campfire can bring you back to a more primal state of mind, enlightening and elucidating an evening. One of the few skills I’m proud of is my ability to start and keep a fire going. Playing with fire can be calming as you focus on how log placement can keep a blaze a-going or rekindle the warmth felt earlier. Sigurd Olson sums it up best - “Something happens to a man when he sits before a fire. Strange stirrings take place within him, and a light comes into his eyes which was not there before. An open flame suddenly changes his environment to one of adventure and romance.”
Not sure if this is what Sig was talking about, but it was fun
The Ice Age National Scenic Trail. Not sure if you know this, but I’m a huge fan
of this 1200 mile hiking path.
The Vikings losing – I really hate Minnesota sports
teams. I don’t think anything else has
to be said.
The Boundary Waters Canoe Area and Wilderness. The B-W may be the most visited Wilderness in
the U.S. but it’s my favorite place. The
ability to fill a pack with your wares and with a day or two of paddling or snowshoeing, be
in the middle of nowhere with no one to be seen is a joy all should experience
at least once in their lives.
Slota looks happy sitting in a quinzee with temps outside somewhere south of comfortable
The beauty of Wisconsin.
I’ve written about this and don’t think I need to elaborate.
The movie “October Sky”.
Call me sappy, but this movie always leads to a huge smile on my face at
the end. If it’s on TV, the remote stops
and I watch to the end.
Horseshoes and Hand Grenades new album – “This Old Town”. This bluegrass band from Stevens Point has
lit up the Midwest music scene since their inception a few years back. It’s a lot of fun watching bands grow as
songwriters and musicians, always improving their product and expanding their
crowds and Horseshoes has done that.
Their set at Boats and Bluegrass in 2012 was memorable as they were
crammed into the side tent with a crowd shouting and chanting for more
music. I think it would be safe to say
that they could have played for the rest of the night and crowd would have
stayed delirious. Their new album
(recorded thanks to a Kickstarter campaign) shows the breadth of ass kicking
they bring to the table. Collin Mettelka’s
songwriting and subliminal fiddle pair well with the hard-driving guitar and
vocals of Adam, while Russ’s clawhammer banjo and vocals remind me of Levon
Helm (Whenever I see them play and Russ really gets into a song, it reminds me
of Levon Helm of the The Band in the Last Waltz, singing his heart out) and with
Sam holding down the bottom of the scale with his upright bass. On top of all that, Davey on harmonica and
squeezebox brings instruments (and fishing expertise) not readily heard on an
old-timey bluegrass album. This album
makes me smile.
A smile can come from any number of sources and when you
least expect it. My list is woefully
incomplete, but even this makes me smile knowing that my happiness is not
limited to a 2 page inventory. When the
world has got you down, take time to think about all the great things in your
life. A smile is more powerful than you
know.
Here's the much anticipated trailer for the Wisconsin Winter Waterfall Waltz. Barry and I set out to document the awesomeness of the waterfalls that had fallen under the spell of winter. It was a blast, but the spell was strong - not everything went as planned...
Mother Nature has been stubborn this year, or maybe it’s
payback for the last few winters (or lack thereof). The yearly march toward tulips and warblers
has been slowed by the seemingly never-ending grasp of ice and snow, making
people pine for last years warm and early spring. Such is life in Wisconsin. Spring will eventually arrive with a
sweet-smelling southern breeze that carries with it the perfume of hundreds of
wildflowers and erase any lingering arctic chill. The robins that have migrated
to find Wisconsin still in winter will soon find puddles to play in, potential
lovers to serenade and unsuspecting worms to fill their bellies with. Winter isn’t all gloom and iced windshields
and spring isn’t all flowers and beauty though.
While spring signals the rebirth of the forest and its
animal inhabitants, it is also the season of mud. Trails turn from a wondrous frozen ski or
snowshoe path to a filthy, muddy slop more fit for a pig than a hiker. Sure, you can drive with your window cracked
open, but the pure beauty of a snowy landscape has been replaced with the wastewater
grey of melting snow banks, revealing garbage accumulated over the last few
months (in the city at least). Lawns
reveal themselves, giving homeowners a nudge and wink that they’ll shortly need
attention.
The beauty of spring
Winter, on the other hand, provides the base for life in
Wisconsin. The snows replenish the lakes
and rivers. The cold gives the trees a
chance to rest from the furious growth of summer. And people get a break from yard work,
mosquitos, black flies and ticks (are people really that excited to feel the
sting of a mosquito or dig a tick out of their leg?). Wisconsin wouldn’t be Wisconsin without the
winters (do we really want to be more like Illinois?).
The majesty of winter
A good, cold, snowy winter is also an important part of
Wisconsin tourism, bringing snowmobilers and ice fishermen to the Northwoods
and elsewhere. The ski hills are
definitely not complaining about the shortcomings of spring. Winter saw
Wisconsin host the World Ice Fishing Championships in Wausau, the largest cross
country ski race in North America with the American Birkebeiner, the North
American Ski Jumping and Nordic Combined Championships in Eau Claire, the U.S. Cheese
Championships at Lambeau, and another successful spearing season in the best
most productive Sturgeon fishery in the world on the Lake Winnebago chain. And people are eager for winter to end? It’s easy to whine about lasting cold and
snow, but the impact winter imparts on the state is immense.
I am a fan of winter and its passing always brings me a
little sadness. I am not against spring,
but it’s worth considering the ugly parts while you cheer the warmth of the sun
on a bright March day that begins the melting of 3 months of snow. I take comfort knowing the snows will fall
again in the autumn and return Wisconsin to a more elegant state. Then again, beach season isn’t too bad; maybe
the coming of spring isn’t so terrible.
A dream of mine was realized a few weekends back as my friend Barry and I went on the Wisconsin Winter Waterfall Waltz. Everyone loves a waterfall in the spring and summer, but what about the winter? Waterfalls can get lonely so the two of us set out to document the frozen cascades and raise awareness that awesomeness doesn't stop when the snow starts falling. I'm working on a video and blog post about the Waltz so stay tuned for those, but I'll whet your appetite with the photographic evidence first.
I was reminded about a scene from Dead Poets Society where
one of the old codger teachers was questioning Robin Williams’s character about
his teaching methods that taught kids to think for themselves. The old codger talking about the students
said, “When they realize they're not Rembrandts, Shakespeares or Mozarts, they'll
hate you for it.” Robin Williams replied,
“But only in their dreams can man be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always
thus will be.” That encapsulates the
point. You don’t have to be Shakespeare
for your life to be important. There is
only one Shakespeare and there is only one you.
Don’t let the constraints of greatness handcuff you.
Everyone has greatness inside of them, but may be unwilling
to let it out for fear of not being perfect or disrupting their ”normal”
life. Be your own Shakespeare and dream
big. No one is the best at something
right away; it takes many failures and much practice to achieve grand things. I want to become a published
writer, but I’m not going to be accepted with my first article at a big
magazine right off the bat. I have to
work my way up through local and regional publications, learning along the way,
what works and what doesn’t. It’s a
growing process. This blog is part of
that. Some posts are a success while
others are grasping for something that may not be there (like this one?).
I’m no Shakespeare, Rembrandt or Mozart (although I do have
a taste for a little night music from time to time), but that doesn’t mean I
should limit my dreams. Perhaps it’s
good for us to tilt at windmills. Why
can’t I go in on a short bus and spend 2 years in South America? Spanish or Portuguese are not in my dossier
but who cares. They say immersion is the
best way to learn. Greatness is out
there for all of us to attain. How big
will you dream?